Death is an inevitable and universal experience for every being. It’s hard to manage the pain associated with the loss of a friend, family member or loved one. Writing about it is even more painful. Although no amount of words can do justice to this sorrowful event, poetry is a useful tool for assisting those left behind to process the loss of their loved one(s). During this period, poetry can calm the soul and rouse the spirits. It can allow one to express him/herself in a written form. Poems about death enable people to describe the great suffering associated with death.
Benefits of Sharing Poems to Comfort Those Grieving
Poetry is a popular way of personalizing a funeral. After the death of someone so close to you, you may lack works to show how you have felt the loss. A poem enables a person to share memories and times spent together with the one who has died. Therefore, you can show how the death has affected you personally.
Sharing a poem enables one to express homage. You may have lost your close friend, workmate, neighbor, etc. Although you may wish to show those around how you respected the person who has died, there are only limited ways of doing so. A poem will not only comfort those grieving but also show you to honor the deceased and his/her family.
Sharing poems about death in a memorial service is an effective way of releasing our grief. After someone has died, regret, disappointment, fear, and sorrow are some of the emotions that plague us. Failure to share these emotions could lead to physical ailments. Therefore, sharing a poem could keep you away from clinical depression and stress, among other dangerous consequences.
Things You Should Never Say When Someone Dies
“He/she is in a better place” is one of the things you should not say to a griever. Although some may find comfort when this phrase is used, it is not the right thing to say when someone dies. When a person passes, those around him/her are more concerned with the void left than where they have gone.
Do not ask, "how are you doing?" Although this phrase is mainly used when people meet, it should not be used when someone dies. Usually, people are used to saying they are doing okay in response to this phrase. However, when used on this occasion, it may make it impossible for the respondents to communicate their feelings.
“How did he/she die?” is another phrase that makes the grievers feel more uncomfortable and makes their grieving even more painful. Although you may be interested in establishing how someone died, getting information from sources not close to the dead person is preferred. Requesting some information could be very painful for those grieving to share.
Do not say, "what can I do?" Although it sounds harmless, it puts the person who is grieving in an awkward position since they are forced to think about how you should help them. They'll have to use their mental energy to figure out how you'll assist them although they're already preoccupied with the loss of their loved one.
How to Express Sympathy (Words of Comfort)
Finding the right words to condole a family after bereavement can be a daunting experience. However, finding the right words is difficult as no one would want to say something that will make the grievers feel worse. Show sympathy and understanding in a brief and focused conversation. When writing, you should:
Add words of support. In words you'll use for comfort, let the receiver know you'll be available for support. For instance, you can say, "I'll be around during this period, and I'll be ready to offer any assistance."
Express your feelings. When talking with the griever, tell him/her how you feel the loss. Let your comments be personal and try put yourself in the receiver's shoes. You might say, "I was shocked to learn the death of __."
Express words of sympathy. Let the griever know you're sorry for the death. Mentioning some positive things about the one who has died is advisable. For instance, you can say, "James was such a wonderful person. He was a good friend, and his loss will be felt by many."