Humor death poems and poems about death for Humor. Read and share these heartfelt Humor death poems with loved ones, friends and family members. Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for non-death related poems or Humor Poems.
body, death, humor, humorous,
I heard the squelch of death again -
or was it just a neutron firing
deep within my boggy brain,
or possibly a cell expiring
down amongst a mucus mess?
It could have been my heart perspiring
(that may be a thing I guess)
or, deep down in the adipose,
the squealing of a fat-lump pressed
to serve as fuel, and I suppose
it might have been a small mutation -
“Pop!” (we get a lot of those),
a bronchiole’s sharp inhalation,
“Hiss!” a membrane’s gooey breath,
a bile-duct’s bitter salivation...
Probably, it wasn’t death.
29 Mar 2019
funeral, humor, sad,
4th March 2015
Written before dad’s funeral - I'll take my cushion to sit on lol
* not proper footle but I had to add it!
beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,
Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state
appreciation, death of a friend, humor,
There were no tears of sorrow when she passed
No suffering or pain, a quiet death
Though many questioned just how long she'd last
Few noticed when she took her final breath
So many photographs and memories
With family and friends while she was here
She shared her time and warmth so willingly
Forever will we hold her days so dear
Though she has passed we will continue on
There will be many gloomy days ahead
Some days her memory will flash at dawn
And some nights when we crawl into our bed
For now let's raise our glass at summer's wake
Cause soon it will be autumn's leaves we'll rake
original poem by Daniel Turner
Death knocks on the door
He is not cloaked with a sickle
He only wants a slice
From one second to the next
Love is our strength and honor, while we are still alive
The body feels cold and stiff
Searching for heart beat ... breathe ... pulse
One, two, three .... one, two, three
With eyes full of tears
One, two, three .... one, two, three
Fearing the silence ... and darkness
... I did my best
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
anxiety, death, humor, money,
Now that I'm dead I can finally relax,
worry free of April 15th and filing my income tax.
death, emotions, fear, humor, life, loneliness, sun,
It was a height of 250 metres,
But I wasn’t afraid;
I looked down
And there wasn’t even my shade.
The sun was already jumping
But with a low speed,
“ I can perform better,
I am not going to give the lead.”
Took a deep breath
And I was in air,
And silence reached there.
The sun began moving upward,
Or I began moving downward,
I was flying,
But like a dead bird.
When from the ground,
I wasn’t really high,
Mind said,“ change in plan,
Let the sun first die”.
cheer up, death, hilarious, humor, humorous, journey, muse,
Is it that time?
my time to go.
do you have a warrant?
wait a while,
till the rain dials down.
Not want to ruin the suit,
need to look my best.
When I meet the under lord,
need to appear my best.
Not want to spend
my afterlife drenched.
can I dry myself
at the furnace of the hell.
I go to heaven,
can I pack
a change of clothes?
long robe and a halo,
may be a scarf too.
let me pack some sausages,
for the long journey ahead.
you seem clueless,
let me talk to your superior,
what is the country code?
Is it alpha and omega?
no! they put me on hold
to a hold tone,
"Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings."
Dale Gregory Cozart
It's true that I could be more lovin'
as I shove you head first in the oven,
but I can't help but feel so elated
that with you your breath is cremated.
death, grave, humor,
Beneath lie the remains of unlucky Jim
A great white shark made a meal of him
Fell off his surf board and hit by a wave
Half inside ‘Jaws’ and half in this grave.
Written on 13 September 2018
For a funny epitaph poetry contest
Sponsored by Jesse Rowe.
animal, death, dream, humor, school, teen, youth,
Up early and off to school I must go
Full of pep and not too slow,
That was then when I was young
This is now a new age I have begun,
How I hate them as I climb out of bed
Early mornings are for the dead,
Unreasonable I must seem
Unyieldingly demanding where is my coffee cream,
But I did love them bed and pillow
Seems so long ago I dreamed of an armadillo,
Now they‘re ruthless dreams
I just can’t do them with ice cream,
I’m now past my prime teens.
8-23-2019 "for contest COLLABORATION sponsored by Line Gauthier"
Robert L. Hinshaw
'Neath this sod dwells Mavis who suffered many a phobia
Makes one wonder how she's handling claustrophobia
In this vault are a few crumbs of crusty old Fred
He got stuck in an oven and got baked with the bread
A very popular man, his friends didn't think twice
When offered a keepsake, their very own slice.
Written 14 April 2019.
Not for contest.
death, humor, life, riddle,
If the staff of life
Is bread, then
Is death gluten-free?
abuse, animal, bullying, death, funny, humor, imagination, water,
-Bunny Hole- by:SKAT
hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)
-Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD
Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave
~SKAT & PD~
football, humor, sports,
We're angry! What sports fan can blame us?
There hasn't been one loss for Jameis
But off-the-field ruckus
Makes sportscasters muck us
Once famous, now Jameis just shames us
*Written about former FSU quarterback Jameis Winston's run ins with the law.
Dorian Petersen Potter
crazy, death, funny, hilarious, horror, humor, humorous,
When Lizzie (Borden) saw what she's done
Thought to herself that was so much fun
So she whack them again
And again and again
Then laughed aloud at what she's done!
Dorian Petersen Potter
anxiety, bereavement, courage, fear, humor, loneliness, nature,
"Is humanity that bad?" pondered the lighthouse keeper, frightened with the sea
Written March 27th, 2016
For the See or Feel Contest Hosted by Poet Destroyer
Mark J. Halliday
absence, childhood, chocolate, death of a friend, humor, political, satire,
Bye Cookie Monster!
Pointlessly martyred by the
car, eulogy, humor,
Filled plate of grilled tortellini
Killed the great James Gandolfini
This star's carcass heavy
A Ford or a Chevy
Should have been a Lamborghini
anxiety, death, evil, grave, humor,
I walked on by a graveyard, very late, alone one night.
No ghosts sprung from their moldy graves: no evil ghoulish sights.
It seemed no vampires lurked about, to sip my blood like wine.
And any hulking werewolves must have previously dined.
I watched in vain for zombies, with their gruesome, bloody stares.
But they seemed to be as plentiful, as wayward teddy bears.
Yet, I would duck behind a tree, on guard quite through and through,
At every car that passed me by . . transporting who knows who?
While I recalled what mother said, no doubt with some misgiving:
It’s not the dead you have to fear . . but watch out for the living!
© 2015 Diane Lefebvre
eight tolls of the bell
I wait in the pause
to hear six more
even her death knell
has kept Aunt Nell's age secret
death, hero, humor, loss, poetry, sports, tribute,
The man was a legend.
So farewell, Cassius Clay, Ali
You knocked out a bit of poetry
That butterfly one sure packed a sting
And well done on the boxing thing
Mohammed, man, you’re counted out
You gave the boxing thing a shout
Wrote rhyme to make a grown man cry
And dodged the draft like a butterfly
Ali, you’ve packed your final punch
Man, you took boxing out to lunch
Men say that you are God today
Who made Mohammed out of Clay
© Gail Foster
hija de la luna
bereavement, death, family, funeral, humor,
They hate his drinking -
But they put his ashes in …
A wine bottle urn.