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Death Poems About Humorous

Humorous death poems and poems about death for Humorous. Read and share these heartfelt Humorous death poems with loved ones, friends and family members. Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for non-death related poems or Humorous Poems.

Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: body, death, humor, humorous,

Squelch


I heard the squelch of death again -
or was it just a neuron firing
deep within my boggy brain,

or possibly a cell expiring
down amongst a mucus mess?
It could have been my heart perspiring

(that may be a thing I guess)
or, deep down in the adipose,
the squealing of a fat-lump pressed

to serve as fuel, and I suppose
it might have been a small mutation -
“Pop!” (we get a lot of those),

a bronchiole’s sharp inhalation,
“Hiss!” a membrane’s gooey breath,
a bile-duct’s bitter salivation...

Probably, it wasn’t death.


29 Mar 2019


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: funeral, humorous, money, satire,

WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A RELATIVE

They crawl out of the woodwork Shedding lots of crocodile tears Grieving for an ancient relative They’ve not visited for many years ‘Auntie Annie’ is barely warm But now you see the relations swarm Waiting for the will to be read They rub their hands with glee Hoping they will be left Lots of lovely money ‘Grieving relatives’ is rubbish!! Some are taking the mick …. These mercenary vultures simply make me sick! 28th January 2017

Poem Details | by Annika Johnson |
Categories: child, childhood, family, humorous, sympathy, teacher, child, school, child, school,

School

Why does a child have to go to school?
Why do we have to spend so much time working?
This seems simply cruel.
Isn't it just irking?

Some people say school is important for learning
Couldn't a child learn on their own?
It would cause much less yearning,
After all, we can learn from our phones.

I can somewhat see a parents point in sending their child to school.
But why would you choose what we wear?
It just allows us to look like fools,
We may as well come to school bear.

As you can see school is not fair,
So please don’t force us to go if you care.

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: fun, humorous,

Mr and Mrs Dumpty, Egg-cidental Death


He lay there, shattered,

                    the shell of his former self,

          scrambled beyond hope ...



Not really her fault ...

                    all she wanted was a quiche,

          but she'd pushed too hard.





~ 6th Place ~  in the "Pithy Pants" Poetry Contest, Maureen McGreavy, Judge & Sponsor.



Poem Details | by ravi kiran |
Categories: cheer up, death, hilarious, humor, humorous, journey, muse,

Ridicule with death

Is it that time?
my time to go.
do you have a warrant?
wait a while,
till the rain dials down.
Not want to ruin the suit,
need to look my best.
When I meet the under lord,
need to appear my best.
Not want to spend
my afterlife drenched.
if not
can I dry myself 
at the furnace of the hell.
what if?
I go to heaven,
can I pack 
a change of clothes?
Nothing fancy,
long robe and a halo,
may be a scarf too.
let me pack some sausages,
for the long journey ahead.
you seem clueless,
let me talk to your superior,
what is the country code? 
Is it alpha and omega?
no! they put me on hold
to a hold tone,
"Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings."

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous, light,

Tom E Aiken


My wife deplored her duty But O' was she good-looking She sold me on her beauty But killed me with her cooking ~ 3rd Place ~ in the "A Funny Epitaph" Poetry Contest, Jesse Rowe, Judge & Sponsor.

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous,

Hope S Gaughan



I had hoped for angels But in earth I will stay For my husband died first And he scared them away

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: death, humorous,

NO MORE CLOWNING AROUND

 
 
Here lie the remains of Ethel Brown A circus clown from County Down She’s buried wearing her red plastic nose ‘Twill be the last of Ethel to decompose! An Epitaph to Make Us Laugh 2 Poetry Contest Sponsored by Jesse Rowe 4/12/19

Poem Details | by ALKAS POETRY |
Categories: hilarious, humorous, sympathy,

CHEWING GUM


    Why americans
  are known having large jaws  ?
-  chewing gum effect !

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous,

Here Lies Festus Sleape


We're asleep in this graveyard We can't hear you pout So please leave your flowers And get the hell out

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous,

RIP M T Pocquettes


Here's a hammer for my debtors For my bills, I couldn't pay Just take a piece of marble And then please go away

Poem Details | by Nick Trim |
Categories: dream, grief, humorous, judgement, life, loss, rude,

I Dream My Thingy Falls Off

I have these dreams they sees to mock 
my organ rhyming this line falls off 

so I’ll pick it up in me hand and carry it around 
nothing unusual there where it’s normally found 

I’ll be trying to put it back on but it won’t attach 
My organs gone I just collapse  

I look down at me loss and it’s back there
but not as long or fat to be fair 
 
and I start stressing cus I’m less impressing 
to then wake up checking my blessing, 

but I think I hate the fact I’m stuck with a small one 
moreso than the moment it was all gone!

Poem Details | by David Drowley |
Categories: death, humorous, life, love,

Hair

Please keep me from falling
I’m a hair on your head.
Don’t leave me some morning
All alone on our bed.

Don't let me be parted
Or removed from my roots.
Please keep me from falling
To be trampled by boots.

Don’t take me out swimming
But left floating behind.
Gargling in a pool drain
I would find most unkind.

If I should live to be
Your last hair when you're dead
I’ll drop in the coffin
To curl up by your head.

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!

Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: crazy, death, funny, hilarious, horror, humor, humorous,

Lizzie Borden

(Limerick)

When Lizzie (Borden) saw what she's done
Thought to herself that was so much fun
So she whack them again
And again and again
Then laughed aloud at what she's done!


Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014


09.16.2014

Poem Details | by Dennis East |
Categories: death, humorous, prayer,

Lord, don't let me die on the toilet

Lord, don't let me die on the toilet,
I would much rather die on a bus.

As the thought of me sat with my pants down, 
drives me mad just to think of the fuss.

But the thought of me off while I'm sleeping, 
seems a much more acceptable plan.

Though I'll have to start wearing pajamas 
and be a much more presentable man.

Amen


Poem Details | by Chukwuemeka Mbah |
Categories: black african american, caregiving, courage, funny, grief, humorous, inspirational, introspection,

POINTING FINGERS

You are one of the reasons
Why they inflate their quote
If you had seized the seasons
Good men could have had your vote


You are one of the reasons
Why our sweet land has gone sour in waste
Here is one of your multiple treasons
You aid corruption just to suit your taste


You are one of the reasons we wedge weighty wrath
Bombs daily detonate like fickle fireworks far north
You decided to do nothing but shut your mouth
So they took our weary sail south

You are one of the reasons the land is inflicted with rape
Overflowing in abundance yet you mong like a greedy ape
Alas our land is grey and old but not due
And it hurts me to know that I am also you.

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,

Never Take Hate Outside

When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,

When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside

Poem Details | by Diane Lefebvre |
Categories: bird, farm, grief, humorous, thanksgiving,

A Tale Of Two Turkeys

Poor Thomas Turkey,
Alone in his pen.
Sits solemn and scared,
For they 'did in' his hen.
 
They took her off Sunday,
Then snuffed out her life.
And now he's alone,
Cause they've eaten his wife.
 
Thanksgiving now over,
He preens with relief.
He can muster a gobble,
Along with his grief.
 
He pecks round his pen,
For some 'scratch' sprinkled there.
Grows quite happy again,
Not remotely aware . . 
 
That Christmas is coming
For family and friend,
And for Christmas, at dinner;
They'll eat turkey again.


© 2015 Diane Lefebvre

Poem Details | by Dorlan Tiu |
Categories: career, grave, homework, humorous, school, teacher, youth,

Walking Dead

Numbness as I walk in halls
A heavy load in my hand I bear
Tome of the ancient past
Portrays a fog in my mind

Emptiness, void and vanity
As I look at zombies like me
Consumed by an epidemic...
Which left us cold-blooded

At the darkness of dusk
When the sun shines no more
I lie below the tombstone of my grave
Devoured by a sleepy hollow in my coffin

Vitality where are you?
Where are your streams of life? 
I' am lost, Where am I?
Oh wait, that's right
I'm in college


Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: art, death, humorous, murder, obituary, words,

Murder at Midnight

It was approaching the midnight hour
I had drunk, my last whiskey sour
now, I am one who uses coupons
"one free murder"
who could resist?
fearful this one would expire
count closely my dear poets
who reads this
is alive

And who is not
well I bid thee farewell
your silence let us not dwell

Poem Details | by David Welch |
Categories: celebration, death, fun, funeral, humorous, light, night,

Viking Funeral

Viking, Viking burning bright,
on a pyre in the night,
though the wind howls and bites,
this funeral is out-of-sight!

Through the cold and falling snow,
on the lake your fire glows,
the ships combusts, and now I know
this here is how I want to go.



*-Obviously patterned off William Blake's famous poem 'The Tyger.'